How to Get Away with Moping
Neil Gaiman is a Cheeky Bastard
Neil Gaiman, the writer of novels like American Gods and Coraline, is one of my favourite contemporary authors. I’ve been moved by his work for the past 13 years.
Holly and I recently decided to type him in the Objective Personality System. I was keen to better understand what makes him feel so unique to me.
In the end, I learned much more than I expected.
When I listened to his story, I was amazed at the shit he got away with over the years—while being totally and utterly Demon Tribe. I wanted to know:
How can I do that?
What does he do that I don’t?
How can I avoid those nasty Tribe Tidal Waves?
Neil rose to fame in the 90s writing the comic book series The Sandman. After finishing 75 issues over 8 years, he ended the main series. While being episodic, the work has the feel of a long novel with a beginning, a middle, and an end. It’s a complete story, exactly how Neil wanted it.
This went against the explicit wishes of his publisher. They wanted to continue the series with other authors, which is the norm in the world of comic books. Just think of Superman, Spider-Man, and all the rest. These things are never-ending.
Neil didn’t care for any of that. He wanted full control of the story and the character of the Sandman and he wanted the series to end.
In the end, Neil won. The young author triumphed over the big publisher. But how did he pull it off?
I Can’t Get Away with Moping
Neil’s full type is MF-Ne/Ti-CS/B(P). Not quite what I expected going in, but close. My OPS type is FF-Ti/Se-CS/P(B). Neil has my last function, Fe, as a Demon as well, but it’s not his biggest life problem. It’s not what gets him stuck.
Not so for me. My most painful experiences can be attributed to having Fe dead last.
It’s embarrassing to admit but I lack awareness of the tribe's expectations—in general and of me, in particular. It’s not like it isn’t stored somewhere deep in my mind, I couldn’t be a functioning member of society otherwise.
However, I lack conscious awareness of the tribe’s point of view. I cannot easily articulate it which makes it difficult to build trust. The tribe doesn’t fully understand what I’m up to. They can’t tell whether I’ve considered their interests or not—and there’s a good chance I haven’t.
This becomes especially problematic in the case of negative feedback. When someone calls me out on my blindness, telling me they’re pissed off because I behaved in an inconsiderate manner (without meaning to), I’m shocked. I feel desperate and don’t know how to handle it.
It’s the most frightening thing because the information that might have prepared me for that moment is not readily available to me. It leaves me helpless.
I want to make my life easier and stop all that. However, while I cannot stop being the type I am, I believe there is some wiggle room.
While I cannot stop being Demon Tribe, I believe that I can avoid tidal waves—and Neil Gaiman can show me the way.
How Neil Got Away with It
In many ways, Neil does the same shit I do—but worse. In my opinion, Double-Deciders who are also Mopes (Savior Consume and Savior Sleep) can even be more unapologetically themselves than many IxxPs. The difference is that they get away with it somehow. But why?
How did Neil Gaiman get DC Comics who own the rights to The Sandman to stop publishing further issues without him?
First of all, he understood the value exchange game. He knew he created something unique and special for them that made DC a lot of money. He was aware that they owed him, not just money but recognition and respect. Their relationship was mutually beneficial and both parties wanted to keep it going.
Second, he could articulate all that accurately in public. He knew that the public knew about the value he created for DC. Then he made sure to tell the public his wishes: to end The Sandman series after he finished telling the story he had envisioned.
After he talked about this repeatedly in interviews for some time, DC Comics wasn’t able to continue The Sandman without Neil—while saving face—although they had every right to do so.
It would’ve made them look bad in the public eye and it would’ve soured their relationship with the great writer. They decided to keep that relationship alive, strong, and profitable for more than 30 years and counting.
Neil Gaiman did what all the IxxPs struggle with. He was aware of the value exchange between him and the tribe. He made sure to give more value than he got. He was aware of his perspective and the tribe’s and he was able to calmly articulate both.
He got what he wanted because he knew how to ask for it.
How to Get Away with Being Yourself
I strive to be more like the Double-Deciders Mopes. I want to be more aware of the value exchange game and play it well. I want to be more aware of the tribe’s perspective and articulate it accurately.
Just so I can do whatever the fuck I want in peace—exactly like Neil (I might be half joking here).
Getting to know Neil Gaiman through typing him helped me realise more clearly what piece of the puzzle I was missing. It showed me a realistic path for growth and what I need to pay attention to, so I can avoid tribe tidal waves.
If you’re someone who knows their OPS type, I’d recommend picking a celebrity you admire who has your last function as their middle Demon. Study them to figure out:
How are they getting away with having that function as a Demon?
What do they pay attention to that you’re not aware of?
What do they do that you don’t?
The other piece of the puzzle is having intimate knowledge of your own tidal waves. Last month, I wrote an entire article about why tracking your tidal waves in an Error log is one of the most impactful practices for personal growth.
If you haven’t started an Error Log already, start today. It just might change your life.
We created an Error Log Template in Notion for you to get started on tracking your tidal waves quickly and easily. Subscribe to our newsletter at the bottom of the page to get the template sent to your inbox with our welcome email.
