A Post for the Quiet Ones

What I’ve Learned from Susan Cain’s Quiet

Are you the quiet type? It's funny how many times I've heard people say, "I would've never guessed you're an introvert!" It's a comment that has followed me throughout my life. In social settings and at work, I've managed to muster up energy and enthusiasm, when necessary, but beneath the surface, I've always desired the quietness of my own space.

As it turns out, in the Objective Personality System, I fall under the category of what we call an 'introverted ambivert.' Our next article on introversion and extroversion through the lens of the Objective Personality System, will explain the intricacies of what this label entails within the vast spectrum of 512 personality types.

Before I was officially typed (FM Te/Ne PC/S(B)), I was on a quest to understand why I often felt like such a walking contradiction. This is precisely when I stumbled upon "Quiet" by Susan Cain.

Susan Cain, though more introverted than me (FM Ni/Te BS/C(P)), also grew up facing the challenge of a world that seemed to value loudness and extroversion above all else. School camps filled with boisterous group activities made her long for the quiet solace of a good book.

This longing for solitude and reflection fuelled her journey into researching the science of personality, with a keen focus on introversion. What she uncovered is a fascinating exploration of the differences between introverts and extroverts.

Introversion vs. Extroversion: What is the difference?

Introverts, as Cain defines in her book need less external stimulation to thrive. They prefer working alone, relish their alone time, and often find the most comfort in the company of a few close friends. Extroverts, on the other hand, thrive in social situations, multitask with ease, and are motivated by external rewards like competition and status.

OK, but what if you’re like me and still don’t fit into either of these definitions?

Susan Cain talks about a group of people in the middle of the introvert/extrovert spectrum called Ambiverts. Ambiverts have a balanced blend of both introverted and extroverted traits and tendencies. They are not purely introverted or purely extroverted but exhibit characteristics of both personality types, depending on the situation and context.

You could prefer to work with others but also need your alone time, you try to avoid social situations but cannot stop multi-tasking—this hopping from one side of the defined spectrum to the other was my conundrum, and the reason why I had previously always felt like a walking contradiction.

The Extrovert Ideal: Society's Biased Lens

Now, here's where it gets interesting. Our society has largely been designed around the extrovert ideal. Schools, for instance, emphasize group activities, collaborative learning, and constant interaction. The workplace prizes teamwork, often neglecting the introvert's need for solitude and deep concentration.

This extrovert-centric approach has some downsides. It leads to open office layouts that breed noise, distraction, and stress, negatively impacting productivity. This has been a particular pain point for me personally throughout my working life. As someone who is a lead De and lead Play, it is extremely difficult for me to tune out what is happening around me. I need to stay ready in case someone throws me a metaphorical ball, which I need to quickly pass back. This need to always be ‘on’ when around others, makes the typical open-plan office environments particularly draining, and I find myself feeling both physically and mentally tired at the end of each day.

Having extroverted saviors, while still being generally more on the introverted side of the spectrum, makes for a pretty weird personality - so how do you explain that to your boss?

Inherited Temperament: The Quiet Blueprint

Susan Cain dives into the idea that introversion and extroversion are not solely products of our choices or upbringing; they're deeply rooted in our inherited temperament. Picture it like your personality's "Quiet Blueprint." Some lucky individuals are born with a natural inclination towards introversion or extroversion. These tendencies can emerge as early as childhood and stay with us throughout our lives.

Susan Cain delves into another fascinating concept – family patterns. While there might not be a single "introvert gene" or "extrovert gene," there's compelling evidence that personality traits (not types) can run in families. Think of it as a family tree with branches of introverted or extroverted tendencies. It's not about a specific genetic marker but rather a shared inclination within the family.

Introversion and Extroversion do appear to be genetic, however, there is still more to this story.

Gene-Environment Interaction: Nurturing the Quiet Within

Now, let's talk about gene-environment interaction – the dynamic interplay between your genes and your surroundings. While genetics lay the foundation, your environment and life experiences are the architects that shape your personality. It's like nature and nurture teaming up to mould you.

Think of it as a beautiful collaboration between your genes and your life story. Your genetic predisposition might nudge you towards introversion, but your environment can either amplify or mellow that tendency. It's like your genes set the stage, and life's experiences decide the main act.

Embrace the Diversity of Personality

So, why am I reviewing Quiet? In my personal opinion, Susan Cain’s research on the spectrum of introversion and extroversion is a great way to dip your toe into understanding your social and energy preferences and why you might feel like a contradiction.

Whether you're an introvert or an extrovert, or something in between, understanding the spectrum of human personality is essential for fostering better relationships at work, with friends, and within your family. It's time to acknowledge that there's no one-size-fits-all when it comes to how we function best.

In our next article, Felix will provide a comparison of Susan Cain’s research to the Objective Personality definitions of introversion and extroversion, along with an in-depth breakdown of what the introvert/extrovert coin is.